Families Connected Resources

Following are some answers to questions you might be having:

Q: Is it normal to feel so angry and overwhelmed sometimes?

A: Divorce is a big loss. It is okay to feel angry, sad, guilty, frustrated, or disappointed. There are good and bad ways to express your feelings. If you would like some ideas about positive ways to express your feelings, talk to your school counselor or a therapist. (Source: Kids First)

Q: Why am I feeling guilty that my parents are divorcing?

A: First off, know that divorce is never a child’s fault. If your parents are divorcing, you may experience many feelings. Your emotions may change a lot too. You may feel stressed out, angry, frustrated, or sad. You might feel protective of one parent or blame one for the situation. You may feel abandoned, afraid, worried, or guilty. You also may feel relieved, especially if there has been a lot of tension or fighting at home. These feelings are very typical and talking about them with a friend, family member, or trusted adult can really help.(Source: Teen Health from Nemours)

Q: My mom and dad broke up several years ago, but I still can’t seem to get over it. What should I do?

A: When parents divorce there are no rules about how long it takes to come to peace with having a new family structure. People integrate their experience in stages and sometimes it seems very difficult to imagine being happy again. It’s unrealistic to “try to be happy and forget about it’” when you’re still hurting, but it is realistic to anticipate that one day you’ll feel better. It would be very useful for you to talk privately with a counselor to learn how to become more used to this situation now and as you get older. (Source: Young Women’s Health)

Q: My parents are getting divorced. Is it normal to feel relieved and not sad about it?

A: Sometimes when parents get divorced they do so after a lot of arguing or fighting, or sometimes your parents may have appeared to not be talking to each other at all. In some families there may have also been physical violence, alcohol problems, or other situations that created stress in the home. After the separation or the announcement of divorce, it’s perfectly normal to feel relieved rather than sad. This is nothing to feel guilty about! Your parents may also feel relieved even though they may also feel badly about not staying together. (Source: Young Women’s Health)

For parents and guardians


Curated Gallery of Resources

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Insight and articles

 

Suggested books

  • A Smart Girl’s Guide to Her Parents’ Divorce (American Girl) by Nancy Holyoke

  • When Your Parents Divorce by Kimberly King

  • The Divorce Helpbook for Teens by Cynthia MacGregor

  • Now What Do I Do? by Lynn Cassella-Kapusink

  • Hot Stones and Funny Bones: Teens Helping Teens Cope with Stress & Anger by Brian Luke Seaward

  • How to Survive Your Parents’ Divorce: Kids’ Advice to Kids by Gayle Kimball


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