When coping with a death or loss, you may go through all kinds of emotions. You may be sad, worried, or scared. You might be shocked, unprepared, or confused. You might be feeling angry, cheated, relieved, guilty, exhausted, or just plain empty. All of these are normal ways to react to a death. If you are feeling overwhelmed, please check in with your school counselor or a trusted adult. For instructions to view this page in Spanish, click on en Español.
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Common reactions and ways to cope
If you are suffering the loss of a loved one or significant life change, such as divorce, you are probably having many hurtful and scary thoughts and feelings right now. Together those thoughts and feelings are called grief, which is a normal (though really difficult) thing everyone goes through after someone they love has died. Below is a list of NATURAL and NORMAL grief responses. Talking and crying are important parts of the healing process. If these symptoms persist, or increase in frequency, severity or duration, a physician or counselor should be consulted. (Source: Our House, Grief Support Center)
Typical Reactions to the Death of a Loved One:
Trouble with falling asleep, staying asleep, or an increase in sleeping
Change in eating habits (eating more, eating less, or eating more junk/comfort foods)
Decreased energy or increase in feeling tired/fatigued
Crying often or unable to cry
Decreased interest in (or withdrawing from) friends, family, sports, normal activities
Difficulty concentrating, losing focus, or forgetting things
Health problems such as stomachaches, headaches, or increased clumsiness
Impulsive behaviors, reckless driving, or other self-destructive behaviors
Problem with parents, teachers, or other authority figures
Dreams about the person who died, or an increase in nightmares
Intrusive thoughts, remembering images about the death or memories of the person
Teens Suggest These Ways to Cope with Grief Feelings:
Talk with someone you trust
Exercise, play sports
Listen to favorite music or music that reminds you of the person who died
Find a way to have some fun, laugh, see a funny movie, TV show or video game
Make a list of your strengths, things you like about yourself
Practice deep breathing: Count to 10 when you feel stressed, angry and/or overwhelmed
Volunteer (i.e., animal shelter, hospital, school, etc.)
Take a walk at the beach or somewhere in nature
Wash your face with cool water
Scream into a pillow or into a backpack
Paint or draw a picture
Journal, write a poem or letter
Reach out for help when you need it
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Guides
It’s often hard to know what to say or do when someone you care about is grieving. You may be afraid of intruding, saying the wrong thing, or making the person feel even worse. Or maybe you feel there’s little you can do to make things better. While you can’t take away the pain of the loss, you can provide much needed comfort and support. There are many ways to help a grieving friend or family member, starting with letting the person know you care. (Help Guide)
