It’s May, and as the experts predicted, the natives are getting restless. Our family was doing well until about week 7. I need to stop and say that our family IS doing really well. We have our health, our jobs, stability at home, this remarkable South Bay community of thoughtful leaders, generous neighbors, and good friends, all looking out for the greater good. My gratitude for this is profound.

We face a unique set of challenges during the coronavirus pandemic, in our home lives, our work lives, and our social lives, all of which seem to have suddenly melded together. We are all in this imposed isolation, fearing for our health, our loved ones, and the future.

Our emotions are swirling right now—sometimes upbeat and enjoying the “new normal” and at other times, a sadness just rolls in and stays awhile.  We are juggling work from home, homeschooling our children, adjusting to less social interaction and outdoor play, and trying to create some stability in an unpredictable world.  This is if we are fortunate and not ill with COVID-19.  

Parents, caregivers and educators at our 90 Partner Schools are doing all they can to provide sturdy, nurturing foundations that their students and children can lean on for support during this difficult time. As parents, we know that our children look to us to understand the world, and that they will be more or less anxious based on how we communicate with them. That can feel like a really tall order right now when were are struggling with our own uncertainties and anxieties about the pandemic. And, it’s absolutely normal and ok to be feeling that way.

Many of our children have experimented with vapes of THC or nicotine. It is just the world we live in. And a parent’s positive influence can make a big difference in the effort to prevent or curtail use.

Throughout the school year, the series will offer six free events, each focusing on a critical component of youth wellness.

Our South Bay community is deeply saddened by the recent passing of Chris Stretch, LCSW. As a therapist, mindset & performance coach and a passionate public speaker, Chris was able to reach thousands of students and families with his message of grit, resilience, and hope.

While driving to speak at our event titled “How to Be a Good Friend”, Katie Hurley was side-swiped by an unfriendly driver but no one knew it.  Even though the driver did not stop, Hurley, psychologist and author of “No More Mean Girls”, "The Happy Kid Handbook" and "The Depression Workbook for Teens" showed no signs of agitation as she rolled through some powerful stats on the state of Teen Life. 

Vulnerability. Something I’ve run from far too long. At today’s speech in front of 1,000 students in 7th and 8th grade, I went to the scariest emotional place I own. While my main topic was exposing the consequences of vaping, I encouraged myself to explain the choice my brother made which ultimately took his life. This is the most important part of my journey where life stopped, and continues to affect me everyday. Allowing myself to open this deep emotion in front of strangers still breaks me every time.

One of the things I loved about this Families Connected Speaker Series event was that it was more of a conversation than a structured presentation. Norm Chow, Casey Jennings, Valerie Kondos Field and Mikah Maly-Karros all sitting together in one room (mind blowing, right?) discussing resilience. It was an honest, thoughtful and unscripted exchange between some very inspiring coaches and athletes.  Although there were many points of insight throughout the night, here are my top three takeaways: 

I’ll admit, I sometimes want to avoid parenting lectures because I fear I’ll leave reminded of all the things I should be doing but am not. I did not, however, feel that way leaving Yalda Uhls presentation! 

Here are my top takeaways (I promise they won’t keep you up at night with parent anxiety):

1. Research shows there are cognitive benefits gained from playing video games!  Parents like me who endured the Fortnite epidemic take heart. I can’t remember the specifics (I’m old. And tired.) but Dr. Uhls book probably explains it all, and I consider this news a win.

Parents do not need any more information about what you’re doing wrong or how you’re screwing up your kids forever. Instead, you need a little encouragement and simple strategies for making parenting easier and more fun. In raising my own five kids (and working with thousands of others at my summer camp), I’ve found that doing less can make us better parents and help us raise thriving kids.

With my fate already sealed, by high school I was drinking, smoking weed and experimenting with other drugs. After all, I was a bad kid and that’s what bad kids do, right? I convinced the outside world that consequences didn’t scare me. I pretended to be shameless. Internally, I was stuck in a cycle of self-destruction. I drank to escape my self-loathing and woke up each time hating myself a little bit more.

Throughout the school year, the series will offer six free events, each focusing on a critical component of youth wellness.

I’m a veteran of music festivals. I’ve chaperoned five groups of boys’ weekends at Coachella for my older two sons. One year I shut it down on Saturday and brought everyone home because I found prescription drugs and weed in my car. Not a popular decision, but the right one.  

Can kindness really make a difference? The experts believe it can. According to NAMI, kindness promotes compassion, empathy, closeness, gratitude and a sense of community—which are all qualities needed to help combat mental health disorders. Psychotherapy and medications are also necessary but therapists advocate for positive environments with a strong support system in order to be successful in recovery.

"I'm always the third or fifth wheel." Her spirits got so low that I eventually called one of the moms in our elementary group to ask her if her daughter could remember to include Linda. Although I had the best intentions, I actually made everything worse because Tweens don't want to feign being nice to anyone.